For God's sake, if you spend 10 minutes discipling and lecturing and disinfecting your toddler after you catch him playing in the toilet, do NOT forget to wipe the toilet seat. You will remember the wet feeling on the back of your thighs long after you are dry.
Velma is, alas, a pseudonym. I live with my family on Cape Cod, where I attempt to successfully blend in with the normal folk. You'd never guess the darkness that lurks in my heart.
(Insert evil cackle and rubbing of hands together.)