Monday, June 26, 2006


Looking at this picture.

OK, you know you want to. I'm just not recommending that you do so, because it's gross. But, you know, free will and all that jazz. Just as long as we are clear that I WOULD NOT recommend you doing so. Heh.

Thursday, June 22, 2006


Commuting more than 30 minutes to your job.


What a fucking waste of your precious, precious time.

Sunday, June 18, 2006


If you are planning any major life events and ever intend to have children, I have a bit of advice for you.

DO NOT plan your wedding/due date/whatever for any time in the first two weeks of June. Once your children hit school age, this time will forever be a crazed segment of your summer. It sucks the fun right out of any birthdays or anniversaries that happen then, because you are so wrapped up in end-of-school presentations, parties, teacher gifts, etc.

But, you know, whatever. Do what you want, but remember that I told you so when you are frantically rushing around trying to pull together supplies for the ice cream social/teachers appreciation lunch/PTO meeting.

Sunday, June 04, 2006


Hauling your grill out from storage and immediately up a full story to it's place on the deck without cleaning it first. It will sit there in all it's 3+ years of beefy caked-on goodness and become a massive wasp attractor right next to your kitchen door. If you try to clean it there, you will end up soaking your deck in all those years of soapy beefy caked-on goodness, and yet the thought of bringing it back down to the yard is too overwhelming to contemplate. It's a conundrum.

Thursday, June 01, 2006


Leaving the sprayer handle attached to the hose all winter. It will rust, and they will become joined, and when the cheap-ass plastic piece controlling the flow on the sprayer breaks, you will not be able to get it off the hose. You will have to replace both 100' hose AND sprayer. This has now happened every winter for the last 3 years. We are idiots.